Is Sexual Preference Completely Natural?

“Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but I am a natural top, so worship me may be?” Wait. What?

(This is in response to a friend’s statement that one can have a ‘natural’ preference for topping and that there’s not enough of patriarchy in homosexual relationships. Thoughts and comments are welcome.)

“What makes power hold good, what makes it accepted, is simply the fact that it doesn’t only weigh on us as a force that says no, but that it traverses and produces things, it induces pleasure, forms knowledge, produces discourse. It needs to be considered as a productive network which runs through the whole social body, much more than as a negative instance whose function is repression.”

– Michel Foucault; Truth and Power

Personal is political. Power flows through everything – the things you do, the people you like, the desires which define you. You are as much of a construct as a sentient, autonomous being.

Our preferences are not fashioned and altered in a vacuum chamber designed by ‘nature’ – our lived life and the social forces around us surround and shape most, if not all, aspects of the process. The self, the individual with which we identify ourselves, is conclusively a cross between the forces of ‘nature’ and society. Trying to separate their influences to trace the lineage of a tendency would then be a futile and misguided exercise. To put it in other words, a preference or a trait which can be used to define one’s self should not, cannot be considered exclusively ‘natural’.  Continue reading

The Strength in Being a Feminine Gay Man

As a good friend of mine put it, “While masculinity and femininity are completely valid things for people to to use as traits for physiological attraction, I think you’d be happier once you realize that most of the traits and mannerisms attributed to those things are artificial and unnatural human/social constructs.”

As a community that’s judged and hated for being who we are, it’s disheartening to see how feminine men are treated by our own community. It’s hypocrisy at its height.

There is a reason that the radical queer movement gained popularity after the Stonewall Riots. It’s because trying to join a system founded on inequality won’t do anything for equality. Hence, assimilationism never works for Civil Rights movements and one just has to look at the feminist movements and anti-racism movements to realize this reality. Racism and gender inequality are still very much a reality in society.

The queer movement was based on inclusivity while the homophile movement was based on exclusivity. Exclusivity never worked and never will.

The Strength in Being a Feminine Gay Man –